Happy Wednesday, wonderful readers! As usual, I am linking up with Peas and Crayons to share a day’s worth of food with you. These What I Ate Wednesday posts have provided a good opportunity for me to challenge myself. They challenge me to vary my diet, and to listen to my body regardless of how I fear I will come across in the public sphere. Having these planned challenges has been helpful – knowing that Tuesdays are going to feature different foods than usual, I am better able to prepare myself for the challenge. This week was no exception, and I tried to seize the opportunity of What I Ate Wednesday to add some variety to my day.
I once again started the day with a breakfast other than oatmeal. I wanted to try something different, so I made a yogurt parfait with Greek yogurt, frozen blueberries, banana, and muesli with a sliced strawberry on top. The parfait was tasty and made for a decent breakfast, but it was not as filling as I would have liked. On a side note, I know that I seem like a major hipster for eating out of a mason jar, but it was honestly the most convenient vessel that I had on hand.
I am proud of myself for mixing up my breakfasts because I know that the variation challenges the rigidity of my disorder, but nothing seems to satisfy me quite like the oatmeal that is near and dear to my heart. Not too long after arriving at work, I was already hungry for a snack. I had to give a quick tour of the coffee roastery to customers, but afterward I was beyond ready for something to eat and a cup of coffee, so I ate part of a peanut butter scone along with my heavenly cup of caffeination.
When lunch rolled around, I was pretty hungry once again, and I was looking forward to eating a leisurely lunch in the sunshine. I ate half of a bagel topped with tuna salad, pickles, and Colby Jack cheese. I know it doesn’t look that appetizing, but I promise that it was delicious. I also had some salt and vinegar potato chips and carrots with hummus, followed by a yogurt that I stuck in the freezer for a couple of hours before eating it.
A little while after lunch, I was ready for another cup of coffee and a small snack, so I ate part of a lemon butter cookie that I made along with a bit of chocolate.
The weather was gorgeous when I got off of work, and I wanted to be outside for a while before I spent the evening babysitting for a neighbor of mine. I was getting hungry again, so I ate an orange and headed out for a bike ride.
The ride was lovely, but I was riding around for quite some time in the sun, and I was hungry again when I got home. I made a piece of toast topped with some strawberry cream cheese, a bit of peanut butter, and a sliced strawberry. It was…weird, but not bad. I also made a little snack pack to take with me babysitting. I knew that I would end up eating a fairly late dinner, so I ate some popcorn and cranberries along with a few sugar snap peas between riveting children’s books while I babysat.
I have some family in town, so I went out for dinner with my mom, grandpa, and uncle. I ordered a spinach salad with blue cheese, chicken, and raspberry vinaigrette. It was an excellent salad, but it was lacking in the cheese department…and the chicken department…and the everything but spinach department. My salad was not especially filling, so I ate a few chocolate chips with some dried fruit and cereal when I got home.
After I had settled in at home, the exhaustion of the day started to hit me. I took a relaxing bath, did some stretching, watched Chopped on Food Network, and started to wind down for the night. Of course, I was hungry for a snack again before bed, and a piece of toast with peanut butter was the perfect solution.
In recovery, it is tempting to push healthy decisions off. It is easy to say, “I’ll stop restricting tomorrow,” “I’ll exercise less right after I finish this run,” etc., etc. Because of this tendency, it can be extremely helpful to plan challenges and imagine how they might turn out before facing them. Using Tuesdays as a challenge day has not always been easy, as one might expect. On Tuesdays, I dive into the day knowing full well that it might be a hard day. Yet despite the inevitable anxiety that comes up when I find myself eating something a bit different, or eating more than I feel I “should,” I have been grateful for the longterm progress that these challenge days facilitate.
My goal with food is to get to a place where I respond to my body, no questions asked, without fearing what others will think about me for my choices or how I might appear to the outside world. We are each operating from our own bodies, and we each have our own needs. What I Ate Wednesday posts have been a wonderful opportunity for me to remember that, and to honor my body over any negative judgments or ridiculous rules. As difficult as it is, when we break through these rigid barriers, we allow ourselves the opportunity to be surprised and amazed at just how strong and capable we are.