Good morning on this fine Wednesday! I’m borrowing Jenn’s fabulous idea again this week by sharing yesterday’s food with you. It was a different Tuesday than usual because I had the day off, which sort of threw me for a loop. I didn’t entirely know what to do with my time when I wasn’t scrubbing sinks, making coffee, or weighing out coffee beans, but I managed to fill my day with delightful activities and tasty food.
Lately, I have been thinking of how long it has taken me to get the point where I eat in a way that is similar to intuitive eating. I thought that eating intuitively would come easily and quickly in recovery, but that simply has not been the case. If you are not responding to your body when it is hungry, intuitive eating is not possible. Because I have only recently been truly practicing the former, the latter is finally starting to fall into place. So, yesterday represents another day of practicing my intuition in regards to food. Now that I feel I am beginning to understand intuitive eating, I see every day as practice and as a new opportunity to become more in-tune with my body’s needs. Each time that I feel hungry and am tempted to judge myself for feeling so, I remind myself that I am practicing intuitive eating, which should be free from judgment.
When I woke up yesterday, I was pretty hungry, as usual. I prepared my typical breakfast of oatmeal and coffee, but started to feel full after only a few bites of the oatmeal. That rarely/never happens, so it was a bit odd for me. I had plans to meet my dad for coffee, so I brought the rest of my oatmeal along with me in a container to eat when I got hungry again.
Sure enough, the rest of my breakfast started to look pretty appealing a while after meeting my dad. I heated it up and finished it with my coffee.
Some time after eating the remainder of my breakfast, I was hungry once again. Judgments began to creep in, but I chose to listen to my body instead of listening to my disorder, and I ate a homemade mini bran muffin while I journaled.
After running some errands around town, I headed home to make lunch. I grilled up a panini with turkey, avocado, tomato, spinach, peppers, and onion. I ate my sandwich with the remainder of a bag of chips and some carrot sticks, as well as an orange. Once I had finished lunch, I made a big ol’ pot of stew to give to one of my neighbors who is going through a stressful time, and then went to Target and TJ Maxx to look at things that I want to buy but can’t justify purchasing.
After I finished shopping, I met a friend for an afternoon cup of coffee. My friend had ordered a salted caramel brownie, and I tasted a bite of it when I started to get a little hungry again. I also ate a Hershey’s Cherry Cordial Kiss before my friend and I headed over to a nearby used bookstore.
With my successful book haul in tow, I headed home and made an afternoon snack before a FaceTime date with a friend. For my snack, I had plain yogurt with a mix of cereals, which rarely disappoints. I also ate a few Bunny Grahams while talking to my friend.
The stew that I made for my neighbor yesterday afternoon turned out exceptionally well, although I burned the living daylights out of my fingers while making it by cutting chili peppers without gloves. D’oh. I also made a lot more of it than I had planned, so I decided to have a bowl for dinner. I enjoyed it with a salad and some crackers, which I topped with avocado after taking the first picture.
Once I had finished eating, I had another wonderful FaceTime date with a friend, and I enjoyed a mug of peppermint tea while we talked. After a lovely, long conversation with my friend, I began the process of winding down for the night and getting ready for bed. I was also getting hungry again at this point, so I had a delightful night snack of an english muffin with peanut butter and a few pieces of cereal. On a related note, I love carbs.
Although it has taken me a long time in recovery to get to the place where I feel like I am being kinda-sorta-a little intuitive, I am so glad that my patience has paid off. Eating without judgment is a liberating feeling, and I am grateful that I can practice it each and every day until it is second nature to me.
I remember feeling so frustrated in early recovery that I couldn’t just eat intuitively, but if I have learned one thing it is that it takes time. Your brain and body need time to heal before they can function properly and eat intuitively. After a period of starvation, they need to learn to trust you once again. This past week, I have felt encouraged as I see my patience and hard work pay off in the form of my body’s trust in me. Truly, I am learning that if you trust your body, it will trust you.