What I Ate Wednesday 10/22: New House Adventures

Happy Wednesday, everybody! I’m linking up with Peas and Crayons again this week to share a day of foodstuffs with you. It has been a week of transition for me, as I’ve been moving everything into the house I will be staying in for the next two months and getting all cozied in. The homeowners are from Japan, so they have some really interesting things around their house, which I have thoroughly enjoyed exploring. I’m especially intrigued and delighted by their selection of dishes, a small obsession of mine.

Despite my new surroundings, breakfast was business as usual, although I got to eat out of an adorable Japanese bowl.

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Just look at that cute little crab!

By the time mid-morning rolled around at work, I was ready for a little snack. It was a rainy day and I had already had some coffee, so I opted for a cup of one of my favorite teas with a protein bar.

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Lunch at work was nothing special: a sandwich, yogurt, tortilla chips, and carrots from my garden. However, I do highly recommend Wallaby Organic Greek yogurt. It’s not nonfat, and it’s delightful.

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When I got off of work, I had a bit of a headache and I needed a snack, so I had a pear with some cheddar cheese in yet another cute bowl. Pear doesn’t pair (see what I did there?) that well with cheddar, but I was in the mood for cheese and that was what I had on hand, so I made do.

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I still wasn’t feeling great after my snack, and I was having some trouble deciphering what would feel best. I didn’t totally feel like lying around, and I thought some fresh air might help, so I went for a walk to explore my new neighborhood. However, my little walk turned into a considerably longer walk when I got the tiniest bit lost and wound up on a golf course for a brief period of time.

After I had navigated my way back to the house, I fed the fish in the koi pond and had another small snack consisting of yogurt with a combination of some kind of cereal that I found in the house and Cinnamon Roll Crunch, which is one of the strangest impulse buys I have ever made. Although it made me feel like I was six years old to eat Cinnamon Roll Crunch, I have no regrets. I also had another mug of tea. What else does one do on a rainy day?

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I had plans with a friend to go to dinner/trivia night at a restaurant, so I wanted to rest for a while before heading back out. I watched Seinfeld and started reading Gone Girl, which is potentially a poor choice of books when one finds oneself staying in a strange house alone. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the downtime. Unfortunately, my friend discovered that the trivia night had been changed as I was on my way to the restaurant. I headed home and I whipped up some stir fry with various interesting-looking sauces that I found in the refrigerator. It wasn’t bad, but I got a wee bit carried away with the sriracha. Oops. On the bright side, I probably won’t have trouble with my sinuses for quite some time.

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After dinner, I wanted something sweet and created an itty bitty hodgepodge of cereal.

I read for a couple of hours, but then I was ready for bed. My dinner was probably 90% vegetables, so it’s not a huge surprise that I was hungry for a snack before I turned in for the night. Plus, eating something before bed helps me sleep and boy howdy do I love sleep. I had piece of toast with peanut butter and called it a day.

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This week, I was hit once again with the incredible transformation that has taken place in the last year. Looking back on the girl I was, it is glaringly evident to me that I was under the influence of significant starvation. I never, ever ate until I was actually satisfied. Life was punctuated entirely by meals and I lived in a constant fog of hunger. Any change in plans, like the one that happened with dinner tonight, would send me over the edge. I would have to recalculate my entire day’s calories if one meal, one snack, or even one fraction of a snack changed ever so slightly. I was so used to this life that it didn’t even seem that strange to me. It was unpleasant, yes, but oddly comforting at the same time.

A year ago, I counted out exactly nine almonds to put in my oatmeal each morning, unless that was too many for whatever reason. Then it may be six almonds, or eight almonds. I ate artificial cheese and aspartame-flavored yogurt daily. I weighed out cucumbers and counted the calories in 2 and 1/4 pieces of candy corn.  Today, although I could make a rough estimate of the calories I ate, I know absolutely nothing for sure. I feel free from the prison of calorie counting that once held me captive, and it is liberating.

I am unrecognizable from the person I was one year ago. I can take things in stride. I can find joy in the ordinary. I don’t plan my entire life around when I am allowed to eat, intentionally delaying meals as long as possible because I know they won’t satisfy me. I have rediscovered life, and although no day is perfect, I feel proud and grateful for the sea change that has taken place over the last year.

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2 thoughts on “What I Ate Wednesday 10/22: New House Adventures

  1. I like reading your posts like this, especially the ending of this one. I really look forward to when I can eat freely and not always be tracking every bite. Knowing the progress you have made and how much nicer life is for you now makes me hopeful and optimistic for my recovery 🙂 ❤

    • I’m so, so encouraged to hear that my posts are helpful to you! When I first began recovery, it was challenging to try to find voices of those farther along than I was, but when I did it was wonderful. My goal with this blog is to be relatable and help those in recovery know that they aren’t crazy, it gets better, and it’s worth it! I really recommend the posts of Amanda at http://www.runningwithspoons.com for some great recovery reads. I found her really relatable when I first started looking around online.

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