I’m kind of thieving this idea from Robyn at Fitting It All In, but she got me thinking a few weeks ago when she posted about Transformation Tuesday. If you haven’t heard of it, Transformation Tuesday is another one of the ways that social media is delegating something specific to a different day of the week (Man Crush Monday, Throwback Thursday, etc.). Many people use Transformation Tuesday to post about weight loss success or fitness goals that they have achieved, which is all well and good for those people, but somewhat problematic when you find yourself experiencing a different transformation.
This Tuesday, I’m reflecting back on the last year of my life with new eyes. They are eyes that have been transformed to see clearly once again.
Luckily for me, I seem to take the same pictures in exactly the same places, which makes this post especially easy. Here I am, one year ago on the left and two weeks ago on the right. At face value, I can recognize myself in both pictures. It’s not inconceivable that I am the same person, but the transformation internally and externally doesn’t cease to amaze me when I think about it.
The girl on the left was afraid. She had never been so afraid in her life. She was perpetually anxious, yet simultaneously unable to think. She was cold on a warm August day. She hated the way her collar bones stuck out from her chest. She hated how destroyed her hair was, and the fact that it fell out in clumps. She plastered a smile on her face because she was theoretically enjoying a visit with her best friend, but she was so detached from reality and from others that the smile was merely for show. Most importantly, and most tragically, she was starving.
The girl on the right is happy. She has hair that can hold its own once again. She has a body that can regulate its own temperature. She is smiling because she legitimately feels happy to be spending time with her friend. She is gradually beginning to accept her body in the place it wants her to be, and she has hope for the future that the girl on the left didn’t entirely believe would come.
My transformation has not been one of weight loss, thank God. If it had been, I can guarantee I would not be writing this today. I would not be sitting here, thinking about how beautiful the sun looks shining on my neighbors house, or waiting to FaceTime with my lovely college roommate. I don’t care to think where I would be, but I thank God and the incredible support systems around me for this wonderful transformation I have experienced.